Writing through the TAROT deck, one card at a time. This is number twenty-seven in a 78-week durational project.
Doubled Intensity / Accumulation of Desire / Articulation of Goals / Creative Power / Sex Wizardry / Visioneering Board / A Gate / “Eye of the Tiger” / Focused Direction / Increased Heat / Hunger for More / Success / Complementary Passions / Collaborative Energies / Combined Forces / Go-Getter (“Go Get ‘Er”) / Expansion / Connection / Time to Act / The Path Forward / Sense of Deep Purpose / Plan of Action / Relaxed Determination / Confident Aspirant / Absorbed Attention / View of the Future / The World in Your Hand /
A figure holds a glowing pink orb and a staff of power, gazing with intent into a point in the distance. Another rod remains nearby, rooted in the ground.
Between the ages of seventeen and thirty-three, I moved approximately sixteen times. Each new place, it was clear to me, was going to be better than the one before. In each of these places, I was going to be better than I’d been before. Almost immediately after arriving at my first semester at university, I was filling out an application to transfer to a better institution. One that was, to me, immeasurably superior. Not only did it have a stronger academic reputation, the school I was determined to get into was embedded at the center of the hippest town in the state. An hour away and a world apart. It had an old theatre where I’d gone to watch animation festivals and My Own Private Idaho as well as various popular (but not too popular) touring bands. There was a substantial population of wispy, longhaired boys who aspired to write for The Simpsons and girls from New York who wore motorcycle boots with their skirts. When I opened the letter letting me know I’d been accepted, I theatrically fell to my knees in the lobby of the dorm I couldn’t wait to leave. (I mean, I was seventeen.) I stayed friends with one of my coworkers from the university library where I’d worked all year, and she told me a story about another coworker who was a couple years older than us. A low-level supervisor with an arch tone. Apparently, after hearing the news that I wasn’t coming back, she drily observed, “Well, she always seemed like she was looking for a cooler scene.” There was a bite to the comment, as it was relayed to me, and despite the obvious truth of it, it stung. I heard the implications in it, that I was pretentious, that I was a snob. I knew she’d seen my restlessness for what it was, a longing to be lifted up by others I found more interesting than I found myself. Like most snobs, I was deeply insecure and more than a little desperate to distinguish myself as not as uncool as I felt. Not as uncool as I was last year. Not as uncool as I was five minutes ago. The general sensation of being alive, for much of my liberated life, was that of reaching out toward someplace better. The only thing that was going to make me feel more confident was to find and stand next to more confident people. Even when I found the place I thought was the best place — the “coolest” scene, the most exciting party — I still came up against a wall where it felt like the only option was to start over. In recovery programs they call this strategy “the geographic cure.” I ran, I ran, I ran, I sank. TWO OF WANDS speaks to the hunger to pitch oneself into a vision of an idealized self, a self that lives in the future tense. But it’s not actually an illusion. At its best, TWO OF WANDS is a card of great agency. You are, always, writing your own story. When TWO OF WANDS shows up, it’s an opportunity to set your sights on the right goal, because this is a card that promises sustained commitment and success. It’s exciting, inspiring, a rush. Of course, the trick is to accept yourself in all your awkwardness, to embrace everything you might prefer to hide. Even if you can’t help be motivated by how the world responds to you, nothing impresses people more than someone who doesn’t need to impress anyone. Try to unhook from the compulsion to accommodate or manage how others see you. TWO OF WANDS celebrates your true mastery, what you’ve achieved on your own steam. Relax into your focused intention. With the fire of the TWO OF WANDS fuelling the way, you will reach the grounded, ineffable place that you dreamed into being.
QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER
What do you want? How would it feel to get it? What choices are in front of you right now? What will keep you moving in your desired direction?
IDEAS FOR PRACTICE
Lean into structure so that you are able to channel this influx of fiery energy toward your most meaningful goals. Embrace your inner motivational speaker. See it, be it, do it. You’re alive. Contribute your gifts.
I’m posting this just as we move into a Full Lunar Eclipse in Taurus. Be prepared to let something go. Trust that you are moving in the right direction. TWO OF WANDS is auspicious: the choices you make this week will be well supported. You are empowered by the beauty of your creativity.